Sunday, February 27, 2011

The beauty's in the ...diet?

As I sit and watch the glamorous glam that are the Academy Awards, I, one: can't help but notice that red is the new whatever color was cool last year, and two: am uber-jealous of all the female celebs who have eight+ hours a day dedicated to working out their already magnificently gorgeous bodies. Guaranteed, we'll see Natalie Portman back to her thin frame within days after she gives birth to her dancer baby. Did you see Celine Dion?! Twins?? Are you serious? Not buying it.
Living on the Main Line, we've all seen our fair share of the overly worked out, over-Botoxed and over-Ugged. With the vast amount of incredible dining establishments, such as TJ's Drinkery in Paoli (their to-die-for mac n' cheese is dangerously only one block from my apartment), and the White Dog Cafe in Wayne (yum all around), I ask you, how, how is it possible to avoid such deliciousness? And if it's completely unavoidable, then you are cordially invited to tell me how a girl's supposed to stay svelte and in shape... without a personal trainer.

Seriously though...I'm always very interested in which fad diets/juice cleanses/workout plans ACTUALLY WORK for people and correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that Main Liners take a lot of pride in all of these things. I'd love to hear all your successes and if you must, failures! Ready? GO!

Oh...

And one more thing...I thought Christian Bale was American?! ... ...And I call myself a fan. Jeesh.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Tacos, anyone?

Friends,

Happy Hump Day! I do hope this blog finds your inbox chock-full of Groupons you'll actually use and sans BillPay reminders! I had quite an evening last night and I thought, "Yes. This is blog material."

As you may or may not know, I'm an old woman when it comes to the game show Wheel of Fortune. I try my hardest to watch it everyday, because I love it THAT MUCH. Some aspire to become astronauts, others have goals of being President...I, well, I just cannot die until I stand next to Pat Sajak and am forced to laugh at his pithy one-liners. I also have one of those Spin ID numbers that allows you to win the same vacation as the winner on the show and you only have 24 hours to claim your prize (!!!), so you can imagine how I get a bit panic-stricken when I'm not able to watch.


So how delighted was I when, after a day of working hard, hosting my first Broker's Open House, I got to come home, cook myself some delicious tacos, and watch "the Wheel"?! Very excited. However, the story I'm about to tell may let you inside my true addiction to Wheel of Fortune and how dangerous it has turned out to be...

Chicken, rice and bean tacos were on the menu for the evening, so I started cooking the necessary ingredients while Diane Sawyer spent a half hour talking about nothing. As the brown Basmati rice steamed away, I would walk the 10 feet to my living room and catch the super-computer Watson beat out two super-humans on Jeopardy, hoping my supper could join me for Wheel. I put the taco shells in my toaster oven, and thought to myself, "I love my toaster oven! It's so much more convenient than heating up my oven for a measly three taco shells." And then I heard it...coming from my television: the sound of a new puzzle to solve! I ran in to see if I could solve the puzzle before any of the juvenile delinquents that were on the show (it was Teen Buddy night, weird), and of course I solved and started yelling at the screen, "Spelling and Queen Bee.....SPELLING AND QUEEN BEE, you dummies!!!!!!!!"

Disgusted, I mosey on back to the kitchen, only to find...FIRE. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my taco shells were on fire, along with my beloved toaster oven, flames springing out from every side! I immediately remembered the extinguisher in my pantry and thankfully had the situation under control in minutes. Yellow powder everywhere, I sit down on my kitchen chair, ashamed. The damage...


















So, moral of the story, children? GET RENTER'S INSURANCE. I'm not even joking. I'm actually being very serious. It's very cheap, maybe a few hundred a year (call your insurance professional), because my computer was sitting on the floor, a few feet away from this debacle. And if you're saying, "Kay, only people addicted to Wheel of Fortune burn their taco shells," I say to you, "NOT TRUE!". If nothing else, at least go to your local K-mart or that other mart no one likes and BUY A FIRE EXTINGUISHER.

I've shared this with you all in hopes that it won't happen to you. Admitting you have an addiction is the first step. Don't let your addiction burn your tacos.